Internet dating sucks. I have heard many a man say this line to me, and it’s usually the guys who haven’t had a date in months that say it. I understand if you are getting no love online then the first thing to blame is the entire World Wide Web, but just like we can’t blame the entire chicken industry for a bad chicken leg at KFC, we cannot blame the internet for our dating woes. The blame lies with only one person. YOU
Tinder IS the greatest dating application since… well, forever. Never have my friends and I had so many dates in so short a time with little to no effort. The greatest thing about Tinder is that it allows you to essentially “speed date,” you match with a girl, shoot a bit of banter back and forth, and get a date. Yes, not every girl will say yes to your request for a romantic evening under the stars, but they are on Tinder for a reason, and if they have swiped right on you, then they are already considering meeting you. So without further ado, let me break down the five golden rules of Tinder so that you too can enjoy the benefits that Tinder provides to so many men out there.
1.) 5 good photos: Now guys, I’m NOT talking about mirror selfies, or shirtless selfies. Please delete these from your phone immediately. These would be great if you were on Grinder, but luckily for us men, the female of our species isn’t searching for a six pack online. She can find that any day and anywhere. The photos must be clear, so at least an iPhone 6, but I suggest a better camera then that. You need a face shot, a full body shot, a shot of you enjoying an activity, and just showing how awesome your life is. I would also suggest that you don’t have photos of you drunk, and hanging off some girls. Some guys will put photos up with them surrounded by girls at a nightclub. This just looks try hard. Just show yourself with some friends, in classy situations, looking like a cool dude. End of story. Selfies are a big NO NO. Oh, and no pictures of your… manhood, no matter how impressive you think it maybe.
2.) The Opening Line: Okay, erase the following line from memory “Hey, how are you?” NEVER!!! Say this line again. You realise how many matches a beautiful girl might get a day? And you are opening with the most boring, generic, mundane sentence of all time. Put yourself in a girls shoes for a moment. She has jumped on Tinder. Probably because she’s bored and a little curious. Most girls will just play it like a video game, with no intention of ever meeting anyone from it, so the only way to get through to these girls is to MAKE IT FUN. Make it rhetorical and don’t ask a question. She can reply if she wants, if not, who cares. It has to be without need, without care, and look like a simple expression of the awesomeness that is radiating through you. Here are some of my favourite opening lines.
1. I sense by your witty and creative tagline that you could perhaps be lacking a little magic and spice in your day, so I am offering you a chance for your day to be enhanced by the presence of my awesomeness.
2. (Insert name here) I believe you have a confession to make…
3. I’m currently trying on a variety of outfits for my dress up party tonight. I’m thinking Batman, but then again, the redness of Superman’s underwear really makes my eyes pop.
4. I had the strangest day today. I woke up thinking it was Saturday, but then I quickly realised it was (insert day here). Luckily I am speedy and made it to work in time.
You can see that all these opening lines have one thing in common. They communicate that I don’t care, that I’m not taking this too seriously, that I am a happy guy, that I’m making it fun, and that I’m probably a pretty cool guy too.
3.) Get offline quickly: The world of Tinder moves fast, just like the real world moves fast. Women are emotional creatures, and once they stop feeling, they start forgetting. You could be amazing on Monday, but by Tuesday, you could be completely forgotten if you don’t stay fresh in her mind. This is why you must become a real person as fast as you can. Tinder should only be the method of meeting and opening. After that you need to get offline as fast as you can. Get that phone number within 4-6 messages. Just make it fun, fun, fun, fun, and then say the following sentence.
“Hey I’ve got to scoot. I have lives to inspire. You sound like you might not be a creep or a stalker. I dig that. Give me your number and perhaps I’ll message you.”
4.) Get the first meet quickly: My advice is to get it for that night. But I understand that some people may have to work week nights so you may have to wait a little. But get it as quickly as possible, and then once a day until the meeting send a funny message so that you stay fresh in the girl’s mind. Remember, woman follow their emotions, keep giving her emotion, and she will remember you, the moment you become boring, goodbye to you kind sir.
5.) Don’t bite off more than you can chew: This may be a quality problem. But once you have got steps 1-4 handled then this can become a problem. If you start matching too much, and start talking to too many, then you can actually start to get nothing. “Person who chases two rabbits catches neither.
For information on Tinder MOD click here.